So, time for some brutal honesty here:
I'm afraid right now. Not a lot. Just a little. I am having to surrender that fear constantly. What am I afraid of? That God won't come through. See, right now, despite all my best efforts, I don't have a job. Which means that I don't have money. Which means I can't pay my bills. I have one that I have to pay online on Sunday, and another that needs to go in the mail tomorrow. Between the two of them, I have about $340 worth of bills; and with the other bill I have to pay in about two weeks, it goes up to nearly $400. I have only $283. That's enough for the car payment, which is $281.85. Why so little money? I had enough set aside - or so I thought. Then, however, I found that my books were significantly more expensive this semester than I had anticipated. I ran into small, unexpected expenses here and there in terms of supplies for the semester. And, I trusted God: I gave as I always do, and I signed up and paid in full for Glorieta. Foolish, perhaps, but as I prayed I felt that was what I needed to do. So now, I don't have enough money. And I'm afraid, just a little bit, that God won't "hold up His end of the bargain," so to speak. Yet I know that He is Jehovah Jireh: "I AM the God who provides." He has never let me fall thus far, and I know He won't. I don't know what His provision will look like, but I do know this: it will be perfect, and enough. It always is. So I'm going to watch and see how He magnifies His name in this, and I'm going to trust in His perfect power. As I mentioned to a friend recently, it's in our weakness that His power is revealed in all its glory (2 Corinthians 12:9). Now here's an opportunity to rest in Him and trust that He will do as He has promised.
May His favor be upon you all!
- Chris
I'm afraid right now. Not a lot. Just a little. I am having to surrender that fear constantly. What am I afraid of? That God won't come through. See, right now, despite all my best efforts, I don't have a job. Which means that I don't have money. Which means I can't pay my bills. I have one that I have to pay online on Sunday, and another that needs to go in the mail tomorrow. Between the two of them, I have about $340 worth of bills; and with the other bill I have to pay in about two weeks, it goes up to nearly $400. I have only $283. That's enough for the car payment, which is $281.85. Why so little money? I had enough set aside - or so I thought. Then, however, I found that my books were significantly more expensive this semester than I had anticipated. I ran into small, unexpected expenses here and there in terms of supplies for the semester. And, I trusted God: I gave as I always do, and I signed up and paid in full for Glorieta. Foolish, perhaps, but as I prayed I felt that was what I needed to do. So now, I don't have enough money. And I'm afraid, just a little bit, that God won't "hold up His end of the bargain," so to speak. Yet I know that He is Jehovah Jireh: "I AM the God who provides." He has never let me fall thus far, and I know He won't. I don't know what His provision will look like, but I do know this: it will be perfect, and enough. It always is. So I'm going to watch and see how He magnifies His name in this, and I'm going to trust in His perfect power. As I mentioned to a friend recently, it's in our weakness that His power is revealed in all its glory (2 Corinthians 12:9). Now here's an opportunity to rest in Him and trust that He will do as He has promised.
May His favor be upon you all!
- Chris
Amen
ReplyDeleteThank you for the thoughtful and well said comment this evening